Growing my Home
Living My Life

There Are A Lot of Aspects of Life - Growing is One of Them


I never New I would Come So Far

There are a lot of things in life you never knew you would be ready for. And there those few cases when you thought that you would be ready for them but in fact weren't.

Growing a Family

I have spent the last few years growing my family. And through the course of that time I have realized how much I have grown myself. When you look at the moments that make up your life the ones that matter the most aren't the ones that you expected.

There are so many blessing in our lives that when we stop and think about them they are almost overwhelming.

Here are some of my life experiences.

Lessons Learned

There are a lot of ways for you to learn. But the most common way is through doing. And when it comes to children there is only one way. Through practical experience.


The Shower

One of the first experiences that you will experience when you are having a baby is the constant attention that you will be showered with. If you thought that the wedding was extreme you haven't experienced anything like a baby shower.

Thankfully there is an option that takes some of the attention off and shares it with hubby.

The Couples Baby Shower

The baby shower is constantly evolving, and some couples are moving to a non-traditional version of the baby shower: the couples shower. While baby showers used to be reserved just for the ladies, this new take on the baby shower allows the daddy, and fathers to get more involved in the wedding and celebration process. So, if you are planning your first couples shower, here are some great ideas to make your couples shower less girly and truly get the men folk involved! It's becoming more and more common for the daddy and their friends to be included in the festivities. Thereafter, they would hand the simple gifts to the mother. As the person who is giving the shower, make sure the couple is on board with the idea of a couples shower, and get started with your planning.

Try to choose a more coed baby shower. It's okay to go ahead and use the wedding colors your couple has already decided on, but try experimenting with a new, less feminine take on it. You can do that by incorporating less flowers, and romantic hints. Try to have a sampling of beef, chicken and vegetarian fare. Many people will want to bring food to help with the shower. You want all of your guests to feel comfortable with this new type of shower. You can have a variety of salads, chips and dips and burger toppings brought to the shower. This makes less work for the host couple. Topped off with a gorgeous shower cake, the food is taken care of instantly.

Minimize the games. Boil up some pasta. Simmer a huge pot of Marinara sauce and have ample meatballs on the side for the meat lovers, and you are set. There's no need to spend countless hours making fancy foods in order to please this crowd. Too make this meal even easier, many Italian restaurants offer affordable take away for large parties. Couples showers are not too different from the traditional showers. However, presence of men has made certain changes inevitable.

Since men also participate in couple showers, baby shower games have also been adjusted to suit the tastes of both the sexes. For example, in female oriented showers, they would hand baby bottles filled with milk to participants and the one who sucked the bottle empty fastest was declared the winner. The idea is to make sure that everyone has a fabulous time. You need to have plenty of appetizers and finger foods to go around so your guests don't go hungry. Another idea is to have your couples shower at a local restaurant and offer a selected menu for your guests to choose from when they order. While this may be a pricey option, it's a good option if you have the funds and you really want your guests to get plenty to eat.

Depending on your location, you may want to offer the men an alternate route when it comes to the gift opening segment. While your male guests may be interested in the gifts for the daddy, most men will probably become bored since most of the gifts are cooking and decorating related. So, if you have the opportunity you may want to provide your male guests with another option such as a sporting event on TV in another room or a game of horse shoes or baseball outside. Include diapers, wipes, disposable gloves and a clip for the nose. Often times, lab type goggles make a great statement also. A finishing touch that gets affirming laughs from the male crowd would be a few of the new dad's favorite ale. He may need it.

All said and done, couple showers are still a wonderful way to help reduce the anxiety of mom-to-be and present her gifts that she would need to take care of her baby. By having a couples baby shower, you will take the mystique of the traditional ladies' baby shower and make guys less fearful of the joyful event.

Fun Couples Baby Shower Games

If having a Couples Baby Shower seems odd to you, consider this: Mom-to-be did not get pregnant on her own. But there are plenty of good reasons that you would want to host a couples baby shower. The games are one of those options that you will want to put extra energy into. And although there aren't any hard and fast rules about throwing one - here are some steps to follow when planning one that should help to ensure that all guests have a good time.

couples baby shower

Dad-to-be plays a very big role in the new baby's life so he should be a part of the baby festivities as well. If the engaged couple has a joint hobby or interest (golf, nascar, travel, music, etc) using that hobby as your theme can work very well. Other popular themes include: 'the perfect pair', 'lucky in love', etc.

Most important, your guests know on the invitation that it is a couples shower. Every couple seems to be in need of the same items. But you can make the average present stand out by adding pizzazz. You still want to have baby decorations since it is a celebration of a baby at your couples shower. If Mr. Think a vase is too plain.

Skip the Oldies

Toss those tired shower games to the curb. Try playing Name That Tune. Each guest must write down a song lyric that reminds them of the mommy and an adventure they shared. These include. Have fun with Fill-In-The-Blank Vows. Pass around two separate sheets of paper. Each guest should then add one vow to both the mommy and daddy's lists (I, Gary, promise to take two minutes in the shower so that I can conserve more water for my wife's thirty minute session). How about a game of WWBD- What Would the Mommy Do. "Make a toga out of a tablecloth and put him at the front of the conga line!".

coed baby shower games

If this sounds a little too stereotypical for you (me man, you woman, grunt, grunt). Add some flair by creating a theme. Are the mommy and daddy a "green" couple. Make the festivities environmentally friendly. Print shower invitations on recycled paper. Will the mommy and daddy be honeymooning in a special location. Invite guests to bring gifts that the couple will use while on their trip. Suggest that guests bring a bottle of wine, a cool microbrew, or a set of funky martini glasses to help the mommy and daddy stock their personal saloon. And for the couple who already has everything and would rather not register, make it a charity shower. Ask guests to bring an item that the mommy and daddy can donate to their favorite charity.

Set up a large grid ahead of time with the dates of the month when baby is due. You can have guests write their name on the date when they think the baby will be born. The host or hostess can be responsible for sending a prize to the winner after the baby comes.

Another good idea for games for a couples baby shower is Pictionary. Make cards ahead of time with all sorts of baby items on them.

But what about "messy diaper" or "nursing". But if you are giving the same favor to men and woman - stay clear of those. Favors should also be something your guests will use as well as being gender neutral. If you are giving out different favors for the men and woman you could still give the items listed above to the guys and then give the gals something more in the feminine (beauty favors, girls night out favors, candle favors, etc). Or perhaps the guys could receive a sport-oriented favor if the finance is a sports aficionado: golf tees, stadium cushions, personalized baseball caps, etc.

If you do not know the sex of the baby yet you can purchase favors in both pink and blue. It might be fun to do a tally at the end of the shower just to see how many of the guests think it will be a boy and how many think it will be a girl!

Though appetizers and finger sandwiches may be appropriate for a regular shower you may want some heartier fare for the couples baby shower. By adding more substantial items to your menu you will be catering (so to speak) to your male guests' larger appetites.

Parenting as a Couple

Parenting is something that usually comes naturally to people. There are no hard fast how to manuals or rules to parenting. In addition, we have found that a parent's style to discipline, level of warmth and nurturing, communication, level of control over the children, and the parent's expectations with respect to maturity level are contributing factors in their child's behavior and functioning. Sometimes parents feel they need some help in deciding the best way to parent their children.

couples' parenting types

There have been many people who have spoken out about parenting and offered advice and assistance to parents in need. They are the people that understand the principles of parenting and work towards it earnestly and accordingly, against all odds. A parenting style is basically a way to describe how a parent parents their child or children. We ask you to ask yourself: "Which parenting style are you?".

Parenting Styles

Some authorities on the subject of parenting will argue that there are many different variations of parenting styles, but they all go back to the three basic parenting styles. Those three styles are authoritarian, permissive and democratic. The authoritarian parent has high expectations and requires the child to live up to high standards. A child being raised by an authoritarian parent may appear to be very well behaved, however, this may not actually be the case, as studies have found that children raised by authoritarian parents may only be less inclined to admit their transgressions and misconduct to authority figures. One can therefore assume that even though the child may appear to be well-behaved on the surface, he may be troubled on a deeper, emotional level.

The permissive parent makes very few demands on the child, imposes few rules and permits the child to regulate his own activities. Following externally defined standards of behavior is not mandated and expectations are low for a child raised by a permissive parent. These set of people cannot be called parents because parents are the people that stay together ensuring the welfare of their children are met and discharge their parental responsibilities accordingly. We have few people that can be called parents in our society today. There is no exception to the rules and punishment is given in a very orderly and prompt fashion when it is needed. The down side to an authoritarian parenting style is that it usually does not allow for a lot of affection or warmth.

A child being raised by a permissive parent has likely been indulged and is typically irresponsible and has poor self-discipline. The permissive parent lets the child have control. There are usually not a lot of rules and the rules that are made are often very lax. The downside though, is that children do not learn that rules are sometimes necessary.

Parenting With Love and Logic

Parents are the Sheppard who nurtures and care for the gift of God in marriage. The child's activities are directed in a reasonable, logical manner that allows for verbal give-and-take and reasonable discussions. Punishment is usually discussed with the child. Parenting is not just an act of giving birth or childbearing, but an art of taking full responsibilities of the family needs and necessities i.e. The authoritative parenting style is rational and affirmative and combines the parental behavior components of control with warmth and responsiveness. Parenting simply means, fulfilling the purpose of childbearing in its full capacity through nurturing, caring, tutoring, loving and discipline. Children will usually grow up to respect their parents and to be able to handle conflicts and problems in a reasonable manner.

Although, something unprecedented cases do happens in the family which might not have been envisaged or prepared for, but it's a fact that every family must experience some level of challenges in life. We can assume that he does well in school, that he is self-reliant and responsible and that he has a friendly, open disposition. The parents will have very little chaos and they will have a low stress level. The family simply does their own thing, which can often lead to a lot of separation over time as everyone develops their own life apart form the family. The democratic parent style requires a lot of work.

Parenting Fails

The neglectful or uninvolved parent meets the child's physical requirements but is otherwise disengaged, disconnected and emotionally distant. We are trained to coddle with hardship and suffering as part of the process to greatness in life which we must not go to the street to beg, even if you attempt to do so, you will be quickly caught and be beaten up to faint. Parents can choose for themselves how they want to parent their children. Some parents simply fall into a parenting style that seems to fit their own life and their own beliefs. Others make a conscious effort to maintain a parenting style. However, a parent chooses their parent style, it is fine as long as it works for them and their children are taken care of.

Counselors for both parents and children in our private practice have found that parental responsiveness as well as parental demandingness are integral factors of good child-rearing. Warm emotional responsiveness along with clear, age-appropriate expectations help to form a balanced platform for successful child-rearing. For these reasons, authoritative parenting offers the leadership and guiding principles children need.

Positive Parenting Solutions

By this time, the parent might have grown old where you can now be proud of your children achievements and point hand unto them as your true son or daughters. The child must have been established before coming back to bless the parent.

Having understood these as parents, and also understand the economic condition/situation of the country, do we still need to give birth to children we cannot cater for.

As parenting is an art of grooming kids to greatness with the available time and resources. Therefore, a parent is a synonym of someone or somebody in the position of grooming the seed of life through the process of formation into a responsible adult.

Parent as a name has no connection with irresponsibility where an irresponsible person can be called a parent; a parent is a person that discharges his/her responsibilities towards his/her children accordingly.

These are the individuals with distinguished characters and attitude towards training and upbringing of their children. They are the people with a sound mind and viable skill of grooming their children.

They are filled with a vision for their children and prayers in order to make their children great in life. They usually have an interpersonal relationship with their children and lead as good examples for their children emulate.

They are friends to their children, they plan for them and even for the whole family, they manage the available resources and always available for their children.

Visionary parents ensure that their children get basic needs with care and then nurture them in Godly manners. They plan the numbers of children they can cater for and also plan for their future.

These are the set of people that lacks qualitative manners of parenting. They lack a moral standard, sometimes very ignorant about the economy; they are spectators in life and ruthless arrogant. They are illiterate or educated ignorant with no common sense of social responsibilities, they have no plan for their children but love to eat from their children's sweat, and they love to have numbers of children which they cannot cater for.

They usually kill the special gifts and abilities in their children; they ignorantly enslave their children, they always allow the society to train their children while their children become problems to the society. They always depend on other people to watch over their children and take care of them, sometimes they train their children base on a social contract.